Question by Christina: Is there an un-handfasting ceremony (like the pagan/wicca rite) when one person does not consent?
I have a pair of friends who were bound (not legally, but spiritually) in a Wiccan Handfasting ceremony almost a year ago. One of them has decided that he no longer wants to be committed and that they rushed into the relationship. He would like to go through the unhandfasting ceremony, but the woman is stubborn and is refusing to go through the ceremony.
It is becoming quite ridiculous and I’m trying to help him find a solution so they can go through the separation.
Best answer:
Answer by Karl S, JPA
Starred for wiccan contacts. Outside Asatru, I know next to nothing on religious marriages, divorces and annullments.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Handfasting is normally for period of “a year and a day”. It helps determine if a permanent marriage is agreeable to both people.
At the end of that period, couples either stay together, or go their separate ways.
I know of no “un-handfasting” ceremony.
Was it a year and a day handfasting? Because that will end at the end of the time period automatically. It would be best for a handparting if both parties are willing, but at the end of the year and a day, one partner can do a handparting if they want. The priestess who would officiate should try to get the partners to work it out amicably first. It does no good for the one partner to try to hold on to a relationship that the other one wants out of. This is the whole point behind having the year and a day handfasting.
Yes, it’s called a Hand Parting. I have done several the past few years.
When the couple were Hand Fasted, there should have been a cord or ribbon or scarf that was tied around their wrists. After the ceremony, the cord is cut and each partner should have half of the cord to put away as a reminder of their commitment. It serves the same purpose as do rings.
In a Hand Parting, there is no need for both partners to be in agreement. The one seeking the end to the relationship can have his/her half of the cord cut into tiny pieces and thrown to the wind. All this is done in circle as ritual and is binding.
If the Hand Fasting is a legal marriage (ie. filed with the county), you also need a lawyer to work out all the entanglements. If it is not a legal marriage, the Hand Fasting will expire after a year and a day.
If the couple can hold on until then, there will be no need for a Hand Parting.
teh whole point in the trial year is that it is a trial, its not a tie untill the year is over
thats what i know of it
ic oudl be wrong
but i think he can just leave if he wants
I have heard of one. Or at the very least both parties sit down with either a Priest or Priestess(or both) and talk about the issues they are having. If it is not worked out in a timely manner and both parties agree that the marriage is not working and it would be in every ones best interests that they split then the handfasting is voided.
Not in my tradition, but i would say that if either
person wants to invalidate a spiritual union, then
it automatically is cancelled.