“Hot” in front of its name (e.g. HOT! 107FM). A steady rotation of Van Halen, Metallica, AC/DC, and the Vision Quest soundtrack is all I’d have going. I could be convinced to include Eminem, as well.
8. No cardio machines – if you need to get your heart rate up, it means you’re not working out hard enough. Either increase the intensity or run to the damn gym.
9. No TVs – isn’t that why you came here in the first place?
10. No juice bars!! (‘Nuff said)
11. Talking – other than asking people if you could work in, conversation should be kept to a minimum. Besides, do you care about what the guy in the gray sweat suit with the towel around his neck did over the weekend? No! Do you really need to discuss the unseasonably cold weather with yet another person? Absolutely not.
12. No smiling – There is to be no smiling in the gym. Working out is not fun. It’s a way of life. There is nothing fun about it. Anyone caught smiling will have his or her gym membership suspended for one month.
13. Spotting – The ability to provide a quality spot for someone is an art, and one only honed through experience.
– Make sure you don’t sweat on the person you’re spotting.
– Always say, “You got it, it’s all you!”
– Never spot someone benching when you’re not wearing underwear.
* One more note about spotting: Never be afraid to ask for a spot if you’re pushing yourself. Being stuck under a barbell while benching will cause a serious drop in